Look, I’m not an alarmist. I am skeptical, to an actual fault. I don’t take anyone at their word, and I require proof of a thing before I’ll re-categorize a thing from a possibility to an actuality. I have scoffed my way through every big societal scare. I flashed a cocky smirk at people expressing worries about Y2K, dismissing their fears with a chuckle and promising them nothing was going to happen. I shook my head at people wearing masks during SARS. I fearlessly ate chicken and pork chops throughout the bird flu and the swine flu scares. I ate Big Macs and Whoppers while watching the world fall apart over Mad Cow Disease.
But I’m not fucking around with this. So far the death rate is higher than predicted. High risk people are really at risk, and those of us who aren’t high risk — we’re still not in the clear. Lower risk doesn’t equal no risk. I’m taking precautions; I’m staying home; I’m keeping away from people. Even before Corona, I was already being a germaphobe this season. I was determined to not get the flu this year. I’ve been drinking daily Emergen-C packets since November.
Much as I hated to go out, I had to. Supplies were low. Amazon Prime took my mandarins, orange juice, and bananas out of my cart before I completed my order and they needed replenished. They also jacked up the price of the grapes in my cart so I had to take them out. So, I had to go out. I don’t have a mask, but I do have disposable vinyl gloves, and I wore them. I do plan on making masks for myself and my husband this weekend.
Am I being too careful? I hope so. I hope I’m being silly and ridiculous. I can laugh at myself later. But I’m not taking my chances. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure I’m around to laugh at myself. And I’m going to do everything I can to make sure I’m not the reason someone else loses their life. None of us know if we have this virus on our skin, our clothes, or in our breath. Many of us may get this and never know we had anything more than a cold. Some of us will get this and feel really bad for a while. And some of us will get this and die. I want to live the rest of my life knowing I did everything I could to prevent further deaths during this time.
Most people did very well in the store. Half of them had masks on. We all kept away from each other. I gave everyone at least six feet and I didn’t come within twelve feet of anyone who looked like they might be over 55. I managed to get all my shopping done while all of us in the store gave each other distance, and I was in line, well behind the person in front of me. People were in line behind me, at a reasonable distance. And that’s when I had to go off on some daft bitch at Aldi.
This woman comes up from my left and stands, not right up on me, but closer than I wanted her — less than six feet away. She’s on her phone, yapping away, spraying mouth germs everywhere.
I took two steps to the right and said, “there are people in line behind me, and please move away from me.”
She didn’t move away from me. She kept blathering into her phone and took two steps in my direction, closing in. I moved further away, and said, louder, “please don’t stand so close to me!” She closed the gap again, at which point I yelled, “OH MY GOD, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” And she continued just standing there, yapping into her phone, at which point I turned and looked at her and screamed “YOU! Get the fuck away from me!”
At which point she became offended, asking, “Are you serious?” And then began explaining to the person on the other end of the phone that she was just standing there and some idiot … and I don’t know what she said after that. I didn’t fucking care. She got the message and got the fuck away from me. And I don’t give a rats fat ass what the daft cunt thought of me. She was just aware enough of her surroundings to move in on me every time I tried to put distance between us, but not aware enough understand that I was desperately trying to put distance between us.
Fuck that bitch. Even when there’s not a highly contagious viral pandemic, I never want people near me in public. Stay at least six feet away from me, and under no circumstances attempt to touch me, are both pretty good rules to observe with me at any time. But now?Â
